Frolix-8

Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

The Electric Ant - "In the play, the robot complains that it has been forced into boring and demeaning jobs and enters into a discussion with the humans about its role in their lives."

The Ganymede Takeover - "In other words...it would be the ultimate sniper round."

We Can Build You - "When I was 11, one day I was sitting on the doorstep, and while watching villagers passing by I suddenly came up with the idea of building a machine that walks like a man."

Dr. Futurity - "Many believe that lasers should be used not just to create wounds but to mend them too."

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--- Dick-Headline --- Sugar Molecule Could Point the Way to Alien Life

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Second Variety - "My research hypothesis is that intelligent robots can behave more ethically in the battlefield than humans currently can."

The Minority Report - "This strategy, pioneered in Britain, is poised to become an important crime-fighting tool in the United States."

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--- Dick-Headline --- All The Terminator Chicks Are Psycho And/Or Robots

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

"SPEAK OUT AGAINST INTOLERANCE. That's the American Way"

The Mold of Yancy - "Now, maybe Rumsfeld was secretly for sending more troops to Iraq all along. But, in his memos to subordinates, he expressed an altogether different opinion."

The Hood Maker - "No, we're not kidding - and neither are they."

The Crack In Space - "How would you feel about rewinding human evolution to a species that's almost like us, but not quite?"

Time Out of Joint - "People believe they are living out Truman Shows of their own, convinced that their every move is being filmed and every moment contrived by television producers. Researchers fear pop culture may be to blame."

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--- Dick-Headline --- Discover Your Secret Psychic Inheritance, Before The Computers Get You

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The Minority Report - Blindness

Yet again an IT Helpdesk telephone rings, somewhere in UK education. And, yet again, Palmer Eldritch is roused from cryogenic suspension to assist. It is Miss O. Dear, who is looking after reception...

Eldritch - Hello, IT Helpdesk?

Miss O. Dear - Oh, hello. Is that IT?

Eldritch - Yes.

Miss O. Dear - Oh, hello. There's something wrong with my computer.

Eldritch - OK, what's up?

Miss O. Dear - It doesn't work.

Eldritch - It won't switch on?

Miss O. Dear - No, it's on, it's just that I can't see anything.

Eldritch - All your icons aren't where they usually are?

Miss O. Dear - Yeah. And I've not got my email or anything.

Eldritch - OK, you need to hit the 'reset' button on the front. When the machine restarts you should be fine.

Miss O. Dear - Oh...er...reset... [ sounds of keyboard tapping and rapid mouse clicking ]

Eldritch - It's a small, recessed button on the front of your computer.

Miss O. Dear - Riiight... er.... I can't seem to... No, sorry, I can't see anything that says 'reset'.

Eldritch - Can you see the power button where you switch the computer on?

Miss O. Dear - Yes.

Eldritch - OK. Can you see a small, recessed button near that?

Miss O. Dear - Er... No... Where would that be?

Eldritch - On the front of the computer, near the power button.

Miss O. Dear - O...K... Er... No, there's nothing... I can't seem to...

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Monday is Dark-Haired Girl Day

Survey Team - "There's been this debate about what's inside..."

Vulcan's Hammer - "So what are the new Special Forces birds going to be used for?"

Mr. Spaceship - "Over a period of weeks, Guenther and his team worked to decode the signals coming from the man's brain. "

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--- Dick-Headline --- Kill Mickey Mouse in a Strange Game of Corporate Brand Slavery

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The Minority Report - The Great C

Somewhere in UK education, teacher Mrs. Freeze telephones an IT Helpdesk. Palmer Eldritch answers...

Mrs. Freeze - Hello. Am I in IT?

Palmer Eldritch - Er...I'm in IT - that is, you're speaking to the IT Helpdesk.

Mrs. Freeze - [ clearly not impressed ] Hmph. I can't get my email.

Palmer Eldritch - Are you on a laptop?

Mrs. Freeze - No, I'm on one of these computers that isn't a computer. The little things.

Palmer Eldritch - One of the boxes on the back of your monitor?

Mrs. Freeze - Yes.

Palmer Eldritch - Right. Well, you should have an icon on your desktop that says 'Outlook'.

Mrs. Freeze - Well I've looked in all the menus and there's nothing.

Palmer Eldritch - It's not in a menu, it should be on your desktop.

Mrs. Freeze - Did you say 'Outlook'? I've got that open but I can't see anything.

Palmer Eldritch - OK, so in Outlook, can you see your email inbox folder? You might have to click 'View' then 'Folder list' in the menu at the top.

Mrs. Freeze - Er...I've no idea what any of that means.

Palmer Eldritch - OK, let me know your room number and I'll pop over to sort it out...

[ Eldritch finishes what he was in the middle of, prior to leaving to help. The phone rings. Technician 3 answers. ]

Tech 3 - Hello, IT? Right...OK. It's fine? Right. Yes, I'll tell him. 'Bye. [ hangs up, turns to Eldritch ] She says her email's alright, now.

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The Minority Report - The Customer Is Always. Right?

Somewhere in UK education, an IT Helpdesk telephone rings. Tech 3 answers. It is a teacher, Queen of Moans - FAIL-ruler, monarch of misery, walking vortex of soul-crushing depression and doom...

Tech 3 - Hello, IT Helpdesk?

Queen of Moans - Hi, I'm just ringing to report that the wall thingy for the computer is still broken in D13.

Tech 3 - Ah, that would be the network port. We know about that. It'll be fixed today.

Queen of Moans - Right. I did phone up about it yesterday.

Tech 3 - Yes, your call is on our helpdesk system. It'll have emailed you when the job was put on.

Queen of Moans - Oh, those are gibberish. i just delete them.

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

"Ponderings and pipedreams from the mayor of America's smallest small town."

Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said - "It seems almost sad."

A Scanner Darkly - "Using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), scientists from the National Neuroscience Institute (NNI) found lesions and plaque build-up in parts of the brain which control short-term memory, and the part that links the right brain to the left."

I Hope I Shall Arrive Soon - "Scenario Land imagines that someday home cryogenics products could perform important tasks like freezing your pets for easier travel."

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--- Dick-Headline --- Why You Can’t Travel Back in Time and Kill Hitler

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The Minority Report - Nice

Somewhere in UK Education, Mrs. Database rings IT Manager's phone. In IT Manager's absence, Palmer Eldritch takes the call...

Eldritch - Hello, IT Helpdesk?

Mrs. Database - Hello technician. Nice to speak to you, but -

Eldritch - [ interrupting ] You've never spoken to my butt.

Mrs. Database - What?

Eldritch - 'Nice to speak to your butt', you said. That's never happened.

Mrs. Database - D'oh! OK. Someone's been watching too much American television. 'Nice to speak to you, however...'

Eldritch - That's better. And I try and avoid telly wherever possible, American or not. IT Manager's not here at the moment. He left because he knew you were going to phone him.

Mrs. Database - Yeah, he does that quite a bit. I shall make with the emailage.

Eldritch - You do that. And but him no butts.

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Metalzoic, anyone? (via the incomparable AdFreak)

Ubik - "What odd maps might be drawn as the die-hards explore the outermost reaches of these worlds?"

The Crack In Space - "It's like science fiction, only better."

The Electric Ant - "These technologies can enhance not just our intelligence but our ethical and moral sense, our emotional intelligence, and make us more exemplary of what we consider to be human."

The Simulacra - "Part of the lab’s work will involve creating more effective robotic actors and improved blending of human and animated movement in motion capture, but at the core of the project is finding new ways for stories to become living, changing products of human interaction."

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--- Dick-Headline --- The Slow-Motion Death Of The Pulps

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