Rock Brighton @ B’Lo, Brighton, Thursday November 3rd 2005
| Into what the pink-haired one on Monday night called 'chav territory' to happen upon a 4-band lineup for £4. Now, this could either have been very bad or very good. It ended up being a bit of both. Above ground the venue took the form of a small, oh-so-trendy café (something Brighton is not short of). Below – sorry – b’lo it is the Charlotte lined with aluminium. At first the only positive point was the presence of a pair of lovely Orange amps, and I always enjoy the sound of those cranked up. | ||
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I was in the loos when the first band started, and I really should have stayed there. Their small billboard (maybe they do building work on the side) advertised them as Two Choices. We, the audience, all had two choices while they were playing and we all chose wrongly by staying around for their set. Watching and listening to this band was like being poked by stick that had been removed from a duck’s arse. They made being average an art form. Speaking with the guitarist afterwards (a very personable chap, by the way, but this didn’t change my opinion of the performance), it transpired the band had been going for about eight years. Had they always sounded like a Tesco’s own brand Blink 182, I wondered. "We’re playing up in London," stated the singer, more than once. Given that Brighton looks and behaves like Camden-by-the-Sea that’s hardly a surprise. Not a good start – we wanted our first quids back already. | |
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Next band Kitty Hudson arrived while the first band were playing, which impressed us immediately, bored as we were with the ‘Choices. What a contrast – the Two Choices set seemed interminable, yet Kitty Hudson ripped through great tune after great tune and suddenly announced their penultimate song after what seemed like ten minutes. All three band members were superb but I must make a special mention of their drummer - John Bonham reincarnated as a girl. If you think female drummers begin and end with Meg White's non-drumming, then you are in for a shock. Awesome. Not sure about some of the lyrics but the energy, attitude and music were all present and correct. Well worth a quid of anybody’s money. | |
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Mattmoo began loudly deriding the members of Bullets N’ Babies as they set up – particularly their trash / goth guitarist, who was too cool and spindly to stand up straight. I’d seen him as we came in and immediately thought ‘Richard III’. After the glorious roaring thump of Kitty Hudson we were back in plod territory I’m afraid, despite B n’ B making use of the Orange amps. Their veneration of the New York Dolls didn’t get further than their t-shirts, although they were trying; one song was entitled Back Door Bitches, I believe. The band seemed to be enjoying themselves, though but it didn’t transmit – and when Mr. TrashGoth fell over on his back after wantonly knocking a mike stand over, then lay staring at the ceiling like he’d just done three hours at Madison Square Garden rather than half-an-hour in a Brighton cellar, I’m afraid I burst out laughing. He then went to the decks behind the ‘performance area’ of floor and played The Number of the Beast (see it-was-fate car park sign photo, taken as we left) followed by London Calling. Hmmm… cheese and chalk? Anyway, I bellowed along as you don’t hear Iron Maiden played in clubs that often. | |
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Thankfully, final band Lethargy (I think that's what they called themselves - it may have been 'Effigy') made the night’s result a score draw in terms of musical quality. A Burberry-burping bollock brain arrived as they kicked off, taking exception to the band’s fantastic mix of full-on hell-howl metal and Zappa jazz. We were asked by the singer to name a new instrumental track before they played it. "Dave !!" shouted Mattmoo. "Colin !!" I added. "You’re all a bunch of fucking cunts," opined the baseball-capped spastic, drinking what looked like his own piss. Later, Mattmoo engaged him in conversation – I was mentally preparing myself for a fight at this point – and the scrawny nonce revealed that he studied music. In between his practise at being a pointless toerag, obviously. Anyway, Lethargy were excellent – we couldn’t work out how the singer / howler could get his voice to sound like the very roars of Satan and yet natter quite normally between tracks. Also, ‘tother Lethargy guitarist used to be in an early incarnation of Two Choices, before he was sacked. A lucky escape for him, based on tonight. |
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