A Girl & A Gun

The Lost Boys (1987), Joel Schumacher

Things about The Lost Boys that really are appalling:

1.    Being known as that actor who was in The Lost Boys

Kiefer ‘24’ Sutherland who plays Vampire David in this went on to do OK for himself: everyone else’s career could be summed up by the phrase ‘fair to middling’. Jason Patric, who plays older brother and Jim Morrison wannabe Michael Emerson went on to have a fair career, Speed 2 aside. Younger brother Corey Haim went on to have a perversely obscure career. Dianne Wiest (mum) didn’t fare much better, but at least has cashed a decent number of Law & Order pay checks. Alex Winter who played Vampire Marko didn’t do a lot after Bill & Ted.

2.    Early 80’s Jon Bon Jovi hairstyles – from the dawn of extension technology, when they were still made of yak hair and affixed to the head with porridge.

3.    Tim Cappello: half sax, half wax-beast, and neither in a good way.

4.    Sam Emerson’s shirt collection
Having a vampire for a brother is the least of this guys problems.

5.    Sam Emerson’s duster coat
only appears in one scene, but still manages to be the most shocking thing about the movie. You will have haunting nightmares.

Kaze no tani no Naushika (aka Nausicaa Valley Of The Wind) (1984) Miyazaki

We brought the more recently released version of this with an English dubbed soundtrack option just before Xmas. It was watched twice in quick secession and then borrowed by my 12 year old niece Talia and not seen again. That side of the family now have my entire Studio Ghibli collection, and my sister Sera, a Citizenship teacher and a secondary school, was treating a couple of her classes to not that Christmassy screenings of Grave of the Fireflies, one of Miyazaki's most critically acclaimed film, which follows the brutal effects of the second world war on two children. Joseph's favorite film has quickly become Howl's Moving Castle, and we are currently reading the excellent and pretty different book by Diana Wynne Jones (thanks Lisa!).

Nausicaa is a mid-period film which  covers most of  Miyazaki's obsessions (except for cleaning). It's related to his 7 volume sci-fi epic comic of the same name, and features the fearless princess Nausicaa of the Vally of the Wind, who has a special ability to communicate with animals and disturbing flesh coloured leggings. The story unfolds as a post apocalyptic eco-fable, with lots of flying, over sized mustaches, and hammering home of the futility of war.

As Joseph said "If there's a scary old mad woman, listen to her because she always turns out to be quite wise really."

Dead Ringers (1988), Cronenberg

One of Cronenburg's best, Jeremy Irons's finest moment, and the greatest film about identical twin gynecologists ever made.

Iron's plays the Dead Ringers of the title - The Mantles, identical twin brothers who have remained inseparable into adulthood. They both work at their own gyno practice, only treating women - and confirming many of the troubling thoughts women watching this film will have at some point had about men who choose a profession which focuses entirely on women's sexual organs and reproductive systems. They often swap roles and pretend to be one another - the more confident and socially adept Elliot giving acceptance speeches and seducing women for his brother, the shyer but more technically brilliant Beverly. Iron's is just outstanding - he manages to create separate and believable characterizations of the Mantle twins, without their differences being too obvious. It's a triumph of Iron's acting that some of the creepiest moments of the film are the points when the characters become disconcertingly similar, the moments when the viewer is mistaken about which is which.

Genevieve Bujold plays love interest Claire Niveau was really good in this, and very familiar - but looking at her IMDB biog I can't remember seeing her in anything else.

Tonari no Totoro (aka My Neighbor Totoro) Miyazaki (1988)

Watched this on Friday morning with Lily and Lucien.

This is my favorite Miyazaki film. Worth owning if you have or might possibly have any children in your house at any point.

Scarface, De Palma (1983)

Some people slate De Palma for his hysteria, but most people who were about in the 1980s or have ever watched Cribs will know that it Scarface offers pretty fair comment on the infantile excesses stupid amounts of money allow. It’s a mark of how genius the movie is that it seems almost plausible in retrospect that this was how the 80s was, if you happened to have a huge estate and a ski slope made entirely out of cocaine.

This film has loads of my favourite film things: an exceptionally bad perm; not one but two disco scenes; picture wallpaper; and extreme violence, including a clown killing. And more bonuses than you can shake a stick at: Richard Belzer doing rubbish stand up in a frilly shirt, all of the interior design but especially Tony’s temple to black and red, and more great quotes than anyone would ever need.

Michelle Pfeiffer’s coke-numbed commodity Elvira is far and away her best performance. The scene following the wedding, where the impenetrable bride is alone in front of the mirror is up there with sunken bath ("You know what capitalism is? Gettin' fucked!") scene and drunk in the restaurant ("Say goodnight to the bad guy") scene.

Aliens, Cameron (1986)

In the future, every one will look like the 1980s. And wear great Reeboks.

I really enjoyed this last night, although I still say Aliens is better. If they’d have killed the kid it would have been a truly great movie.

Jeeze, in these modern times I’d forgotten how high they used to cut their trousers. Diabolical trouser manufacturers all over the world must be cackling away to themselves about all the fabric they’re currently saving since having your gut hang over the top of your waistband became fashionable. No wonder Sigourney has no fear – her trousers fasten up to her breasts.

Paul Reiser (Carter Burke) was told that he was in a particularly exotic episode of Miami Vice.

Lance Henriksen is like an acceptable version of Christopher Lloyd. All he has to do here is be nice – although who cares – he’s here to spurt milky blood. If someone buys me my own special effects hall of fame for excellently mutilated actors, he’d be in it, right next to John Cassavetes head from the Fury.

Al Matthews (Sgt. Apone) is a man born to chomp down on a cigar – no one in movie history has done it better.

Dead Ringers, Cronenberg (1988)

I haven't actually seen this recently but I aim to please (& I love my traffic). Following on from a comment posted by Terry (Lovely but Married) to The Fly post, I'm happy to demonstrate my superior, if somewhat dubious, web searching skills with a picture of one of the "Gynecological Instruments for Operating on Mutant Women" from David Cronenberg's Dead Ringers.

Thanks Mac!

If anyone has seen Ringers, ever, please feel free to post comments as I'm too lazy/drunk.

The Fly, Cronenburg (1986)

I saw this when it first came out in 1986 with Ade Omotosho, in the sadly now-defunct Leicester Odeon Cinema on Rutland Street (coincidently - playwright Joe Orton had his first sexual encounter in the toilets there. Where’s his blue plaque, Leicester City Council?).

It was on terrestrial tv last night. I’d forgotten that Cronenburg directed it. He’s one of my favourite directors purely because his whole film career has been one extended mapping out of his obsession with anal penetration. You can see his initial hysteria gradually mellowing to mild disgust and resignation over the decades. I expect him to be celebrating the act sometime in the 2020s.

Anyway. The Fly is hilarious, one of the best comedies of the 1980s. Check out the pods! Check out Seths computer! All you have to do is ask it a question and it does all the work for you! Some fool (Todd Lincoln) is currently remaking it. Kurt Neumann’s 1958 The Fly is great too.

Rue Cases Nègres (aka Black Shack Alley), Palcy (1983)

I watched this on Friday night, I found it in my VHS create, still in the wrapper. I enjoyed it – it crams a lot of threads about the fake ideological distinctions (but very real socio-economic ones) wielded on to the dichotomies surrounding race & the psychological consequences of slavery and poverty. The leads are all great – particularly Darling Légitimus as M'Man Tine (whose first film role was in Bouboule 1er, roi nègre, 1933), and Douta Seck who plays Medouze. It’s a sweet and hopeful story that left me wanting to read the book.

The director, Euzhan Palcy, has led a pretty interesting life - she was the first black woman fimmaker to have directed a feature-length Hollywood film. She also met François Truffaut in 1975 & he helped her to rework the script for this film & went on to become her god-father.

Karate Kid III, Avildsen 1989

Watched this yesterday with Joseph, another one of Channel 5’s cheap Sunday afternoon family movies. After watching these with my son, who usually loves them, I’m always left with the suspicion that my parenting is more dysfunctional than I realise.

Anyway. This film sets the record strait once and for all: Good kicks evils butt, and bonsai trees are a naturally occurring phenomena.