Frolix-8

Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

'Sleigh Runner' [ Worth1000 ]

"Replicants are like any other machine. They're either naughty or nice. If they're nice, it's not my problem."

"Stop right where you are! You know the score, pal! If you're not Santa, you're 'little people'."

"Now tell me, in single words, only the good things that come into your mind when you think about cranberries?"

"The turkey lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot oven, basting its legs, trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping."

"Is this testing whether I'm replicant or an elf, Mr. Deckard?"

"Christmas is our goal here at Tyrell. 'More festive than festive' is our motto."

"Have you ever retired a reindeer by mistake?"

"Nothing is worse than having a present you can never open."

"I want more eggnog, fucker."

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Delivered toys through fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched Robo-Sapiens glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost in time, like snowflakes...in rain. Time to fly."

"All he'd wanted was the same answers the rest of us want. Where do I come from? Where am I going? How many presents have I got? All I could do is sit there and watch him die."

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Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep ? - "The neural stimulation is said to provoke physical stimulation, and according to Oxford Neurosurgery professor Tipu Aziz, such a device was successfully tried a few years ago, but removed when the subject complained about her constantly supercharged sex drive."

The Divine Invasion - "The new rule, the notice says, "expands the population of aliens who will be subject to US-VISIT requirements to nearly all aliens," excepting Canadians and a few others."

The Variable Man - "But the most accurate account of the bomb’s inner workings—an unnervingly detailed reconstruction, based on old photographs and documents—has been written by a sixty-one-year-old truck driver from Waukesha, Wisconsin, named John Coster-Mullen, who was once a commercial photographer, and has never received a college degree."

The Zap Gun - "The end product will be the size of a large refrigerator and weight of 1650 pounds."

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--- Dick-Headlines --- Mind-Shattering Novels of Philip K. Dick Can a Robot Consent to Have Sex with You? SciFi Makes You A Better Person - Possibly

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Thousands? In one night?

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch - "The new carbon nanotube-based interface technology discovered together with state of the art simulations of brain-machine interfaces is the key to developing all types of neuroprosthetics — sight, sound, smell, motion, vetoing epileptic attacks, spinal bypasses, as well as repairing and even enhancing cognitive functions."

Confessions of a Crap Artist - "What is true is what is true for YOU"

Radio Free Albemuth - "To obtain an injunction, a company needs to show only that someone feels "alarmed or distressed" by the protesters, a requirement so vague that it can mean almost anything."

Second Variety - "It may sound somewhat odd but these little guys are expected to be roaming around hospitals in the next year or so, looking for sick kids to cuddle or old folk to give heart attacks to."

Vulcan's Hammer - "One of these supercomputers is already having an upgrade..."

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--- Dick-Headline --- Mr. Lincoln still gets no commercial respect

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Monday remains Dark-Haired Girl Day

The Transmigration of Timothy Archer - "This feeling of sensed presence is rather common ... among people with temporal lobe epilepsy. Curiously, the presence is perceived to be a person of the opposite sex on more than ninety per cent of occasions. Patients usually describe the feeling as distressing and in some cases it can trigger depression. Others interpret the sensation as a religious experience."

Dr. Bloodmoney - "A further discovery is that octopuses show no trait of individual personalities, even though they exhibit a high level of intelligence."

The Electric Ant - "They haven't told him how to do this — there's no set script in his processors that tells him to roll a certain distance southwest, speak a certain command, then come back. He'll have to figure it all out on his own ... When his sonars capture the image of a person, for example, he knows it's a person, not just a nameless object to be avoided."

The Penultimate Truth - "At the end of 100 years they are going to send an army of robots ... marching down underneath Yucca Mountain to install yet-to-be-invented titanium shields. It’s hard to fathom anyone suggesting it, let alone the secretary of energy."

Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep ? - "We must be very careful about the appearance and the materials used when we design the outer shell of a human-symbiotic robot because the robot should never hurt the humans or the surrounding environment on its contact."

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--- Dick-Headline --- Bush Insider Who Planned To Tell All Killed In Plane Crash: Non-Profit Demands Full Federal Investigation

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

It's Dark-Haired Girl Week...

Radio Free Albemuth - "I guess the silly family expected an apology from the police. Like I said, silly."

Dr. Bloodmoney - "The foot literally popped out of the brain."

Sales Pitch - "Vote for your favorite in our Freakiest Ad of 2008 contest."

We Can Build You - "In this article [Matt Bauer] shows the basics of making custom robot parts and skeletal brackets for his humanoid robot creations using a CNC mini-mill."

Nanny - "The researchers apparently aren't satisfied with things just yet, however, and they say they eventually hope that robot will be able to clean up after a family of four in just five minutes."

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--- Dick-Headline --- Science Fiction Authors That Lit Geeks Think It's Cool To Read

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

It's Dark-Haired Girl Week...

The World Jones Made - "When we first got the tip, we assumed that the "augmentation" in question was going to be related to breasts—and we were right, in a way. But instead of photos of women with breasts augmented in size, augmenter presents us with women with an augmented number of breasts. Specifically, four breasts."

Autofac - "DARPA is trying to develop what they call "Damage Tolerant Control Programs" to make sure that robots can continue and complete a mission in spite of taking heavy damage."

Sales Pitch - "The system has its limits. It doesn't seek to identify individuals -- NTT is worried about the negative implications of such a system -- but it will attempt to figure out how many of the people standing in front of an advertisement are actually looking at it."

Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said - "If not for the video, the guy on the bicycle would probably still be facing charges."

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--- Dick-Headline --- Victoria's Secret: Why Don't You Slip Into Something More Human?

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

It's Dark-Haired Girl Week...

We Can Build You - "The only way you know these woman are fembots is if they're flawed somehow, so the images divide into two categories: fembots suffering damage (usually with sparks flying out) and fembots who are seductively removing their faces or synthetic skins. It's like torn clothing or a striptease, only way more personal. And yet impersonal, because of their blank emotionless faces."

The Days of Perky Pat - "Dressed in a re-creation of the stylish green skirt-suit worn by the film’s ill-fated heroine in an iconic scene, Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” Barbie® Doll celebrates the 45th anniversary of the acclaimed film."

A Scanner Darkly - "Could someone really have put this up in a public place this with a straight face?"

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch - "On a gamer forum, a vigorous discussion about whether it's fair for employers to discriminate against World of Warcraft players when hiring, on the grounds that WoW players are never fully out of the game."

Confessions of a Crap Artist - "It will probably not surprise you to learn that I discovered all of this by clicking through the links at AmericanAntigravity.com. Or that one of the members of this HFGW-backing team is a 14 year-old student in Virginia."

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--- Dick-Headline --- Leonard Nimoy Wants You To Do Drugs And Have Orgies

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You Don't Really Care For Music, Do You?

I heard there was a TV show
Where cash was flash and taste was low
But you don't really care for music, do you?
Well it goes like this - the poor, the bad,
The desperate hope, the really sad,
And not caring that the man called Cowell screws you

Cowell screws you,
Cowell screws you,
Cowell screws you.

Well your voice was strong, but your eyes were crossed
The audition show you nearly lost
And thinking of some real-life agony nearly threw you
How your mother's in a cancer ward,
Your father by a bull was gored
And your children try to forget they ever knew you

How could you dare?
How could you, yeah?
How could you? Yeah.

We're been here so many times before
The annual grind, the winning whore,
The Christmas number one that will slice through you
The judges sit, a turgid wall
With plastic faces that appall
The sight just seems like Death is sticking to you

Sad but true, yeah.
Sad but true, yeah.
Sad but true, yeah.

Well there was a time when it wasn't on
And we might have got a decent song
But now it's airbrushed rubbish that they do, yeah.
Overblown and mawkish, pointless guff
When will people cry 'enough's enough'
And stop spending all their cash on total poo, yeah.

What to do? Yeah.
How could you dare?
How could you? Yeah.

There cannot be a God above
This total farce they are not sick of
But the sound of money means they are deaf to you
If you only buy what you're told to buy
And you cannot ask the question 'why?'
Then you're owned by Cowell and love it when he screws you

Cowell screws you,
Cowell screws you,
Cowell screws you.

Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

PKD would have been 80 years old today. I think that's excuse enough for a Dark-Haired Girl Week...

Sales Pitch - "A commercial with one fully dressed man and a pack of women dressed in Lycra thongs who end up skydiving topless for no other reason than to give a bunch of dweebs hard-ons is offensive."

Nanny - "There's mustachioed firefighter, gently caressing his robot; the Army bomb squad, posing with ridiculously heavy weaponry; the hammy shot of George W. Bush; and, of course, Santa's unmanned, gun-toting helper."

Dr. Futurity - "Injectable bone is the first delivery system for stem cells and growth factors that forms a material with the strength of a bone."

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--- Dick-Headline --- Halls gives you paranormal elevator powers

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Satch and All His Friends

Hands up who thought the Joe 'Satch' Satriani / Coldplay plagiarism-gasm was something to do with Louis Armstrong. Anyone? Well, I'm afraid I did and it has resulted in the following candidate for this year's Christmas Number One™ :

I see trees of green ... red roses too
You copy me .... and I copy you
And I think to myself ... what a wonderful world.

I see a man who's bald ... a band that are shite
Spending their money ... to have a big fight
And I think to myself ... what a wonderful world.

The colour of money ... so pretty in your eyes
You can't take it with you ... you're still gonna die
I see friends shaking heads ... sayin' 'Hey, good luck...'
They're really sayin' ... 'what the fuck?'

I hear artists cry ... I watch them go
They've learned much more ... than they'll ever know
And I think to myself ... what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself ... what a wonderful world ...

The next question is, are Iron Butterfly going to wade in? Or Ricky Martin? (Perhaps not, as he's a relative of the 'play's lead warbler...

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Monday is Dark-Haired Girl Day

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch - "No word yet on scientific efforts to enter dreams, but if you can see the patterns in neurons that present an image, maybe you can induce those neurons to present an image..."

Sales Pitch - "This is obviously a paid service and i’ve no idea what they charge, but it could be a really cost effective way of getting the word out about something."

Vulcan's Hammer - "They can be equipped with incapacitation chemicals, combustible payloads or even explosives for precision-targeting capability."

Ubik - "If the theory proves correct, it could mean that our universe does not have a finite beginning and end but is, instead, part of a chain of universes that expand and then contract to give way to a brand new universe."

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--- Dick-Headline --- I Like Bubbles

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