Frolix-8

Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

The Crack in Space - "Spiteful motivations and sophisticated social learning skills, however, appear uniquely human."

The Transmigration of Timothy Archer - "I didn't know what to do because I couldn't do this on my own. But then I met David Lynch, who told me about the positive effects of TM in education."

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep ? - "She also has a cat named Motu, after her MOTU hard disk recording system."

The Dark-Haired Girl - "My name is Hardley Surton. I am a beauty addict."

piccy from 'ere

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Nanny - "The state of the robot is probably something along the lines of "broken." "

The Simulacra - "DelFly II is smaller and more robust, has longer flight time, is able to hover, take off and land vertically, can even fly backwards." AND "It was almost three hours of screaming, door-slamming and accusations, according to the report I received."

The World Jones Made - "Well if we're properly prepared for all the different things that can happen to us, we'll be prepared for that, as well." AND "He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however."

The Mold of Yancy - "...freedom is not a concept in which people can do anything they want, be anything they can be. Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do."

Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said - "Obviously, there was no malice involved but it has to be said that the USA system does not inspire confidence."

Ubik - "Momspit (inspired by the original) is the universal no-rinse cleanser."

A Scanner Darkly - "...the plane was owned by a secretive Midwestern media baron and Republican fund-raiser, who had a business partner who, incredibly, owned the other American drug plane, the DC9, recently busted in Mexico."

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch - "They are the M&Ms of pain relievers. Or the Skittles of pain relievers."

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The Minority Report - Student Feedback

STUDENT : A01	|	"Lastyear we purchased cartons of ribena for 50p. Now when i came back for my last year now the cartons are now priced 75p. This is disgraceful, how can you increase the price by 25p."
STUDENT : B024	|	"the questionnaire thing doesnt work when i click on it .. .. .. .. make it work. im bored. "
STUDENT : B0078	|	"The student Council seem to be doing NOTHING! I firmly believe that these people only take up the positions, to put something on their UCAS form."
STUDENT : A01	|	"I AM WRITING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE HIGHLY INCREASED PRICE OF THE RIBENA CARTONS IN THE CANTEEN. 75p FOR A LITTLE CARTON. A 500mL BOTTEL COSTS 80p AT TESCO SO WHY THE HELL IS IT SO HIGH AT THE COLLEGE? THIS IS CRAZY PLEASE REDUCE THE PRICE IMMEDIATLY."
STUDENT : Z66	|	"Hello"
STUDENT : F267	|	"Update the Student Union webpage. Its old, do you take your work seriously?"
STUDENT : F31	|	"Why is the person who answers these questions so sarcastic ...theres no need 4 it."
STUDENT : H24	|	"you are sooo feerrreaking funny, what are you doing wasting your time at a place like this? you are a wasted talent!"
STUDENT : Z99	|	"brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrap le3 blok getz me guzza runnin tings "
STUDENT : K78	|	"Why is it that all video games related websites are blocked at college. they do not contain games themselves, they merely have news, reviews, previews etc. It is similar to someone using the internet to find out more about music or films, video games are no longer a geek niche thing (in fact, they generate more revenues in the Uk than movies do!) so why are they treaded differently? i demand justice!"
STUDENT : A01	|	"I took your advice and bought my own ribena. at first i thought it was a stroke of genius, i was beginning to think of you as a godly figure in my life... "
STUDENT : A01	|	"..it wont let me send my whole message - - what is this madness?"
STUDENT : A01	|	"I took your advice and bought my own ribena. at first i thought it was a stroke of genius, i was beginning to think of you as a godly figure in my life... BUT then.... the ribena carton burst with quite literally millilitres of sugary goodness enveloping my "
STUDENT : A01	|	"grr -it just wont work"

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

The Variable Man - "Or they could use it to blow up the universe. You know, whatever."

Now Wait For Last Year - "Impossible."

The Impossible Planet - "Blokes will be chuffed to learn their willies will get bigger - and women’s boobs will become more pert."

The Great C - "I guarantee you if we had a machine like this for pope, moral laws would be followed."

A Scanner Darkly - "...the blue bunny beacons are designed to win the admiration of children while they send the bad guys packing."

The World Jones Made - "After all, there are laws against discrimination."

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today?

I really should stay away from teh cyberwebz. Really.

Foster, You're Dead ! - "Should you get buried, when the bag deflates you'll at least have a small air pocket to breathe, scream and hope to be found."

Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said - "I would describe it as something that will be shown to police academies around North America as not the way to intervene in this kind of situation."

We Can Build You - "I can whip any mechanical robot that has or ever will be made..."

A Scanner Darkly - "There's just no rational, reasonable estimate that there's anywhere close to that many suspected terrorists." AND "We’re not surprised that older pupils weren’t so keen."

Colony - "There's nothing we can do about it now, except do no more harm."

The Man Who Japed - "Click on the pants of your choice..."

The Zap Gun - "Spookytechnology encompasses all functional devices, systems, and materials whose utility relies in whole or in part on higher order quantum properties of matter and energy that have no counterpart in the classical world."

Now Wait For Last Year - "Hey, you look somehow angry. Why? Please calm down."

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch - "Imagine receiving a big chunk of cash in the future. Or winning a prize."

Sales Pitch - "We will monitor the results from this campaign and are ready to change our recruitment methods ... We know we can't stand still."

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The Minority Report - Moodle

-----Original Message-----
From: stud123@student.college.ac.uk
Sent: 07 September 2007 10:30
To: IT Helpdesk
Subject: Moodle

Can’t log into to moodle
Forgot my username & password

username: stud123
password: brainiac01
Student: stud123
David Kant

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Palmer Eldritch - Good morning, IT Helpdesk...
Teacher - Oh hi, I’m having a problem with the Moodle. I haven’t got the button. OK? On the intranet home page.
Palmer Eldritch - OK, let’s have a look at your screen from here… [connects to PC and sees three Internet Explorer windows open, all showing the required button as it should be] … Right, well I can see you do have the button…
Teacher - Oh, is it there now?
Palmer Eldritch - Yes...are you sat watching your screen at the moment?
Teacher - Yes.
Palmer Eldritch - OK. You have three copies of the intranet open and they all have the button…I’ll just shut two of them down… [does so]
Teacher - Oh, thank you. That’s great. Where did they go?

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Palmer Eldritch - Good morning, IT Helpdesk...
Teacher - Hi, yeah, I’ve got a problem with this ‘Moodle’…
Palmer Eldritch - [With only mild sarcasm] It’s normally reliable…
Teacher - Ha! Well, I’ve never had a problem with it before. But then I never use it…

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

The Zap Gun - "So what else can Laser Avenger do? Apart from maybe light a cigar?"

Second Variety - " "We have an inducted firing system which electronically creates an electric field that ignites the primer or the sensor," a Metal Storm official said."

The Gun - "Here's a video I obtained a few years back, showing a XM-151 Remote Weapons Station emptying its magazine of .50-caliber bullets -- and then turning towards the camera, looking for new targets to nail." AND "It appears as though the gun, which is computerised, jammed before there was some sort of explosion, and then it opened fire uncontrollably, killing and injuring the soldiers."

The Man In The High Castle - "In 1945 the Nazis went to the moon. In 2018 they are coming back."

A Scanner Darkly - "Investigators said Leblanc told them he had done drugs and believed that a leprechaun had let him into the car."

Not By Its Cover - "If we keep quiet about these crimes they're just going to keep happening."

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch - "A perfect gift for the young lady of the house."

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

A Scanner Darkly - "She was released Thursday after lab tests found the substance was, in fact, cat urine."

The Zap Gun - "Watch the web. There's always something good on."

Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said - "The camera is set in action by a slight pressure on the revolver trigger, independent of the firing of the weapon." AND "He had refused to drop the camera which could be used as a weapon."

The Man Who Japed - "So it looks like someone couldn’t take a joke?"

The World Jones Made - "Sexy institutionalized mental patient? Sexy convict--in traditional stripes or modern orange? Or, I know! A sexy lady bug! Perhaps a sexy bumble bee? A sexy gardener!"

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Orpheus With Clay Feet - "...every time Richard Dawkins kicks a quivering new ager, a hard-pressed science fiction writer loses another sale."

The Unreconstructed M - "Thinks for himself but follows your every command"

We Can Remember It For You Wholesale - "Human beings are often poor reporters of their own actions."

Ubik - "I simply refuse to lend relatives and friends money. That’s the safest and easiest way."

Solar Lottery - "All a user has to do to control his/her avatar is imagine performing various movements."

Stability - "American law is underenforced—and we like it that way."

The Divine Invasion - "Want to see 5,000 years of religion in 90 seconds? Ready, Set, Go!"

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep ? - "My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots." AND "U-Tsu-Shi-O-Mi !"

Second Variety - "...for those of you who can't handle real pets but don't think robotic dogs are all that interesting."

The Divine Invasion - "The price already seems fairly reasonable but, if you're on a mission, Chinavasion says the costs will be even lower if you buy them in bulk."

Vulcan's Hammer - "The cyber sidearm program is part of a broader effort to defend Air Force networks against intruders."

The Unreconstructed M - "A robot with a snake-style body can climb over small and large obstacles, and wriggle through small gaps better than other type of robot. But they are quite a handful to control..."

The Transmigration of Timothy Archer - "The problem with mushrooms is that their effect is unpredictable. It's impossible to estimate what amount will have what effect."

Our Friends From Frolix 8 - "One moment a user may be bored, and the next moment, the same user may be overwhelmed."

Shell Game - "Yes I know that the plumbing could be better, but this is only a prototype..."

		LOLBladerunner

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

A Scanner Darkly - "If you want to see a naked body, this is a naked body." AND "The new test hall, which opens next spring, is basically a big, high-security room full of cubicles and cameras." AND "The logic of the move is chilling."

The Unreconstructed M - "It's probably made of adamantium too and it can transform itself faster than you can say "Optimus Prime"..."

Clans of the Alphane Moon - "It’s people controlling the robot, not the robot doing PR by itself."

The Mold of Yancy - "We can expect that asymmetric warfare will remain the mainstay of the contemporary battlefield for some time." [ One for Plotinus, there. 'Asymmetric warfare' ??? ]

The Transmigration of Timothy Archer - "Death special: How does it feel to die?"

The Days of Perky Pat - "I love lux!"

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The Minority Report - Memo to All Staff...

-----Original Message-----
From: Teacher
Sent: 15 August 2006 09:47
To: All Staff
Subject: My birthday today

..but I’m still fresh and up-to-date. Fancies on a doyley in the main staff room and F block kitchenette. Help yourselves.

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-----Original Message-----
From: Main Office
Sent: 31 August 2006 12:12
To: All Staff
Subject: Telephone Message

Hi All

We have a message on the answering machine from a garage saying that someone’s car is ready for collection. Unfortunately it is difficult to understand the name of the company so I suggest if you do have a car in a garage, you should give them a call to check if it’s ready.

Thanks

---~~~---

-----Original Message-----
From: Teacher
Sent: 04 September 2007 11:24
To: All Staff
Subject: Time for tea

I have remaining in my possession three small boxes of Twinings Earl Gray Tea. Can’t stand the stuff personally, so I’ll be glad to get rid if anyone is keen. On the downside, it’s just over a year out of date, but that doesn’t seem to have bothered the two people who spotted the motherload before I managed to finish this email.

---~~~---

-----Original Message-----
From: Teacher
Sent: 01 October 2006 10:48
To: All Staff
Subject: Knitting wool

Last year someone asked for knitting wool to knit for charity. I can't remember who it was.
I have some wool to give away.

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep ? - "...just slide your brain sack between those pneumatic vice grips and we're sure WAO-1 can oblige." AND "The researchers said that, to the first group, animals had come to represent human “biological vulnerability and mortality”, thus provoking aversion and negative attitudes."

The Great C - "If the computer knew a little more about you, it could behave better."

Out in the Garden - "They aren't going to turn into flying cars any time soon."

The Simulacra - "Before, language was considered too messy and difficult a system for mathematical study, but now we're able to successfully quantify an aspect of how language changes and develops."

Ubik - "The phone then can dispense inspirational advice, its makers say."

The Unreconstructed M - "A morphing micro air/land vehicle [that] can fly, then land, fold up its wings and crawl around buildings or other tight spaces."

The World Jones Made - "I was really a little bit worried that I’d get a lot of negative reaction...I received practically none. That’s kind of half the beauty of it."

The Broken Bubble - "I wanted a balloon sixty inches in diameter, which is my height, made of a translucent or transparent material."
[ via Little Hokum Rag ]

A Scanner Darkly - "Leading House Democrats introduced the so-called RESTORE Act Tuesday that allows the nation's spies to maintain permanent eavesdropping stations inside United States switching centers."

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Vulcan's Hammer - "They were large for dragonflies. I thought, 'Is that mechanical, or is that alive?' " AND "Cyber, as a warfighting domain . . . like air, favors the offense."

The Unteleported Man (aka Lies, Inc.) - "I have been in front of the full-sized system and, believe me, you just run. You don't have time to think about it, you just run."

Nanny - "YABO is friendly robot for lonely unmarried persons."

The Electric Ant - "Human After All"

The World Jones Made - "There was one woman who works at the gallery who tried to stop them until she saw the axes and crowbars."

A Scanner Darkly - "...a major international scandal is brewing over a second drug trafficking incident in Mexico's Yucatan involving an American-registered jet owned by a dummy front company of the kind usually associated with the CIA."

The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch - "Why the Sky is not Blue."

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Sales Pitch - "In the fullness of time we will have to adopt a universal currency if we are going to carry out serious commerce in space." AND "See why online never looked so good with Social Retailing(SM)."

Second Variety - "...it possesses enhanced safeguards to minimize incidences of friendly fire or civilian casualties."

Dr. Bloodmoney, or How We Got Along After The Bomb - "...Rentokil's RADAR trap drops all the touchy-feely stuff and brings the pain action-movie-style..."

Galactic Pot-Healer - ''They're more willing to work with a robot that does have issues because they really, really like it." [ cheers, Plotinus ]

We Can Build You - "This is about linking people to technology in order to give humans extra abilities."

The Broken Bubble - "No injuries were reported in connection with the incident, but Carr-Ballard said the stupid stunt was one more reason the beauty academy is leaving downtown, moving to Pleasant Ridge next week."

Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said - "It is alleged he had a copy of the "Anarchists' Cookbook", containing instructions on how to make home-made explosives."

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Ubik - "...the county's council even going so far as to boast that their new meters are among the most "secure and intelligent" in the country."

Galactic Pot-Healer - "Want it? Need it? Go get it! It's available right now... for $75,000."

We Can Build You - "...don't you just love science jokes?"

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep ? - "Scientists and scholars have long speculated that religious feeling can be tied to a specific place in the brain."

The Preserving Machine - "The concrete crickets, he says, are his way of keeping his voice in the neighborhood."

The Minority Report - "The goal is to identify the perpetrator in a security setting before he or she has the chance to carry out the attack."

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Gig Blogged #57 - Rush @ Hallam FM Arena, Sheffield

Rush @ Hallam FM Arena Sheffield, Saturday October 6th 2007

Now showing over at palmereldritch.co.uk

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The Minority Report - Things Overheard

IT Manager - [Holding a 3G smartphone] - The thing about these things is, you’re at home, yeah? Say you’re in the shower. And you have an idea about something at work. You can grab your thing, email yourself at work and then it's job done. You can get back to your shower, or whatever.

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Teacher - I hate this inspection. I’m having to teach properly.

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IT Tech 1 - [ Speaking to a teacher on the telephone ] OK, so your class can’t log on. [ Asks colleague across office ] Do these students have accounts?

IT Tech 2 -Yes and they’ve all logged on using ‘em at least once.

IT Tech 1 - [ To teacher] Yes they have and they've all used them at least once. [ Listens, then asks colleague ] So what are their passwords?

IT Tech 2 - Whatever they’ve set 'em to.

IT Tech 1 - [ To teacher] Whatever they’ve set them to...

IT Tech 2 - Otherwise it’ll be their date of birth.

IT Tech 1 - [ To teacher] Otherwise it's their date of birth. [ Listens to teacher's reply again, then asks colleague ] And what’s that?

IT Tech 2 - When they were born...

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Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Solar Lottery - "We don't need to reinvent a new paradigm for each modality or brain region."

Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said - "The government has told head teachers to lighten up after one British school told children in the dinner queue that if they didn't give their fingerprints they wouldn't get any food."

The Simulacra - "Of the many fascinating theoretical applications of DARPA's "cyborg insect" research, the most creative could be using sex-starved moths to follow bank robbers."

A Scanner Darkly - "The goal here is to better supervise the police..."

Sales Pitch - "The Aeropanel® offers a unique and exciting advertising format in an uncluttered, relaxed and comfortable environment..."

Photo from the really rather good Drop Dead Gorgeous

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Gibbys of the Weeks

As stated previously, the Guitar of the Week site now has all the guitars up to week #48. So, a quick run-through needed, I fancy and we'll see how long the pages stay up for;

#37 - '67 SG Special Reissue w/P90's [ Can't go wrong with P90s. 7 / 10 ]

#38 - SG Classic Custom Aged Cherry [ Too ostentatious. Again. 3 / 10 ]

#39 - Les Paul Classic Custom [ Not as ostentatious as the guitar above but still a bit glass-case for my liking. 4 / 10 ]

#40 - '84 Flying V Reissue [ No. Or 'meh' as I believe da yoof say. 1 / 10 ]

#41 - Nashville Les Paul Jr. Double Cutaway [ Much more like it. Look like Gram Parsons, sound like Green Day. 7 / 10 ]

#42 - Les Paul Classic Custom w/3 Pickups [ Spinal Tap fans only. 2 / 10 ]

#43 - Explorer w/Short Vibrola [ I would love this one. 8 / 10 ]

#44 - Les Paul Standard Un-burst [ Interesting. Could be very good, could be awful. 5 / 10 ]

#45 - THERE IS NO WEEK #45 (although it's meant to be the Joan Jett Melody Maker)

#46 - Les Paul Classic Custom w/3 Pickups [ Jimmy Page had one of these in the early days of Zeppelin I believe. Or something similar. 3 / 10 ]

#47 - '84 Explorer Reissue [ Metallica fans only. 2 / 10 ]

#48 - RD Standard Reissue [ Much more interesting. 7 / 10 ]

Which PKD Story Are We In Today ?

Second Variety - "One of the developers said that it might just be an evil robot."

The Minority Report - "Those are absolutely and unequivocally false."

A Scanner Darkly - "When a team of FBI agents lands in Baghdad this week to probe Blackwater security contractors for murder, it will be protected by bodyguards from the very same firm..."

The Penultimate Truth - "Contest: Rename the "Global War on Terror" " [ I always thought it was 'The War Against Terror' - T.W.A.T. - anyway. ]

The Ganymede Takeover - "Memo to Pentagon: If you want to keep something secret today, call it "Britney"."

The Zap Gun - "And they're not looking for blue sky type ideas either: they want either "immediate capabilities" that are ready for use or "near-term capabilities" that could be in commercial production in less than a year."

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep ? - "Once our partner Dr. Schmidt Intraokularlinsen GmbH has suitably shaped the polymers, we selectively coat the implants..."

Sales Pitch - "Oh good, another top 10 list." AND "It wasn’t until the point of no return that I got to hear about it."

The World Jones Made - "...a Saratoga County woman is accused of prostituting herself and then snorting cocaine from the stomach of her newborn son while breast-feeding him."

Voices From The Street - "The most interesting part, however, was this video showing the way Wal-Mart has spread across the country like a microbe culture in a petri dish."

The Mold of Yancy - "Hang the leaders of the Conservative Movement..."

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Gibbys of the (Future) Weeks

They have lost interest. The next twelve instruments in Gibson's Guitar of the Week scheme have popped up, on their own site, apparently. The ever-watchful Electric Guitar Review says thus:

"...considering that Gibson’s own hype was that they’d be revealing a new custom model each week, it seems highly unlikely that they meant for this to happen."

...Unless they're not that bothered any more. I can't even find the scheme's pages in Gib's new site. Ho, and indeed, hum. Anyway, here they are:

And bizarrely, I really like the look of most of them, particularly #41, #43, #45 and #48. Who'd've thought it?

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