Here's a thought - do female bodybuilders suffer the same sort of shrinkage 'below stairs' that can afflict their male counterparts? I know that they cultivate iron-hard pecs as opposed to the more natural fun pillows, but what about the slide n' glide lovelips? Do they devolve as being surplus to requirements in the face of constant steroid abuse, in the same way that male bodybuilders end up with what amounts to a sweaty twiglet between their legs? And if so, is all that silverware on the mantelpiece worth a permanently arid shag canal? Or a terminally frightening appearance viz the photograph on the left? I would say not, but what do I know?
As I write this, my Irish neighbours' seventieth birthday karaoke party continues unabated and has just been joined by an open-air gig at a town cafe, where a band of a certain age are steadily murdering the works of Buddy Holly, Rod Stewart and Free. This may be affecting my brain.